Have you ever had times in your life when you simply knew that there was no person on earth that could understand you? Or no person that could offer your Soul the comfort that it needed?
I have often had that feeling since I was very small, and I have always turned to Nature as a result.
Just recently I was feeling that way, and so I did what I have always done, I went out into Nature.
This time of year, being calving season, I am with my cattle most of the time. As I was making my regular pen checks the other night, I felt drawn to go and visit Mary Lou, who you can see in the picture.
Mary Lou is special. I used to milk her mother, Dottie, for milk for the house, and then I milked Mary Lou as well when she became old enough. About 6 years ago I stopped milking her and she joined the rest of the herd. She is still a pet and loves to be scratched. She will stand as long as you would like to rub her.
As I was saying, I was drawn to go over to her. I began to scratch her behind the ears and pet her soft black hair on her back and belly. She stood peacefully as she always does, but then something else happened.
As I was petting her, she turned her head and embraced me. I could feel her love surrounding me like a hug in that simple gesture. And that's when my tears began to flow.
My heart opened up and I wept like a child. Mary Lou stood holding me like a mother would. I could feel the comfort she was offering, and her willingness to hold me until I felt better.
Cattle are the ultimate embodiment of the Divine Mother, in my opinion. Their four legs hold them solid and grounded to the earth and they so naturally nourish and love and give absolutely everything of themselves.
As my great granny used to say, "take care of a cow, and she will take care of you."
I could feel Mary Lou absorbing my sorrow and grounding my discomfort into the Earth. I'm not even sure exactly what the sorrow was about, but it needed to flow through me and Mary Lou knew it and was there to help.
As my tears disappeared into her hair, it dawned on me that this wasn't the first time I had wept upon her shoulders.
I suddenly remembered that it was about 8 years ago, when I was milking her one evening. I was living on a different farm at that time as I was still married to my first husband. That night I was looking around at the life that I had fought so hard to create, and I knew that it was all crashing down around me, and I was broken.
I wept upon her until I didn't have any tears left. And then I finished my chores and went in the house to make supper for my children. Not long after that evening I moved home to my family farm and haven't looked back.
I thanked Mary Lou for always being there for me, and for providing a sturdy, loving shoulder to cry on.
Because sometimes, only Nature can understand what our Soul truly needs.